I kind of hope I have a son one day.

I would love to have a baby girl but at the same time… I don’t know.

I just have a lot of boy names I’m a fan of.

• Sebastian
• Edward
• Sean
• Gabe
• Robert

And now names are coming to mind once I think about it.

• Louis
• Henry
• Adam
• Paul
• Thomas 

Idk it’s weird.  I’ve never really thought about girl’s names that I like the same way as male names.  I also never really think about the relevance behind the name.  I just like them.

They also all have nice connotations behind them, along with me just liking them.

I love him.

And I hate it.  I’m in love with someone I can’t have.  And he liked me back.  For once, someone I want wants me back.  Wants to spend time with me, likes me for who I am, who I can be, what I do and can do.  But he’s with someone else.

And now I have to wait.  It’s up to him.  And I know, even though it will hurt, that if he doesn’t choose me, there will be others.  I know this.

But you know, you always remember your first love.  I thought it had been someone else, but now I realize how wrong I was.

There’s really nothing like it.

Time to go home.

This semester was kind of amazing.  I met so many new people that I love deeply and cherish.  But I’ve also gotten closer to some I knew, and got further away from others.  Isn’t life funny like that?

I dread being home, though.  I wish I could stay at school, kind of, but whats the point of being here when no one else is?  The only reason I want to stay here is because of the people I love and see all the time.

God, who have I even met, though?  Matt, Mike, Melissa, Ryan, Mills, Josh, Caroline… The list goes on.  And then there were, of course, the people I already knew but got closer to, Tyler and Chuckie, Jen, John, Will.  Its surprising how things work the way they work.

If you would have told me before this semester that I would have fallen for a guy with a girlfriend, though…. And that, wonder of all wonders, he would like me back.  Wow.  This seriously has been an eventful semester.

Now I just gotta evade the point of this hickey and hope my parents drop it.

It’s not that I wouldn’t mind telling my mom about Matt, but in the future, I do want to date him.  And I don’t think my mom would be too happy if I dated someone who cheated on their last girlfriend, even if it was with me.

Damn.  You think something is in black and white, but then you realize that no, there are always shades of grey.

Now I’m going to go wash my bowl of cereal out, do some last minute packing, and wait for Mike to arrive.